nervous

looking forward for this coming monday.gonna have second ultrasound and see the progress of the fetus...hoping for the best...but i'm redha if i'm gonna receive a not so good news.Pls pray for the best for us...

Penantian Satu Penyiksaan

My next apmt with my gynea will be on 10 Oct.Since my last visit and when i've been accepting the situation that my pregnancy might be terminated,i can feel that there's no more pregnancy simptom.no sore breast and Firas is no longer too manje wit me,only a bit stomach cramp and lower back pain.Im waiting...waiting and waiting...if this pregnancy not gonna be ok,pls make it happen asap.i dun wanna put any hope on this... I donna wanna break my own heart anymore...pls Allah...

"Didiklah jiwa agar menjadi damai dan tenang. Yakinlah dengan pesanan Rasulullah kepada seluruh umatnya. Yakinlah yang kemenangan terhasil sesudah kesabaran, kelapangan akan muncul sesudah kesusahan dan seterusnya percayalah bahawa bersama kesulitan itu sentiasa akan timbul kesenangan....."

"Yakinlah, di saat yang baik meninggalkan kita, maka yang terbaik akan datang kepada kita. InsyaAllah"

petikan ciplak dr senior yg byk mengajar erti hidup...sbg penguat semangat dikala duka

it did breaks my heart into pieces

history repeated....with no reason...things like that happen...said da doctor....im waiting for a miracle. from Allah

Another BLess?

22 Sept 2011...did a pregnancy test.and guess wat?its a positive but colour dia very the samar2 jek.May be its to early,since my period only one day due.Ya Allah, I really hope this time, its gonna be ok,i dont want the past history to repeat again.We've have been waiting for so long,pls Allah...give the best for us.

Bertemu Kembali...n begin my day with bad thing

Assalamualaikum...

Wee wee!warghahaha dh lame tak menulis.mmg tau pn takkan ada org baca pn,tp konon nk jadikn diary,tgk2 haprak.

Takpela...betulkan niat,tekad kn hati,kuat kan semangat utk terus menulis dgn konsistan.
Hari ni bangun subuh dh 720am,terbangun lmbt sbb smalam tdo lmbt.teman firas tgk cartoon smp kul 130am.
Dua2 dh terlelap dh pn actually ats sofa kt depan tv tu.bl terbgn,terus tutup tv n dukung firas msk bilik.

Lps solat subuh,baca Alquran sket, then guling2 ats katil....smp la kul 915.terus tukar baju n g pasar, nk kena beli stok lauk pauk utk seminggu.kat sini la benda yg tak best tu berlaku...keter wira dpn aku ni,slow motion smacam....mcm lost pn ada.Tgk2 dia pn msk simpang pasar utk parking,so keter comel aku tu terpaksa la follow...then dia stop,adala dlm sminit,so terpaksala aku dgn sabarnye tgg,mana dia nk g sbenarnye,dia pn reverse...so aku like...ar ok.tetiber dia reverse lg mcm aku tak wujud...aku dh gelabah mencari hon pn x jumpe...tp aku dh terlambat,bunyi hon aku yg comel berbunyi hanya bila bunyi 'bummmm' menanda kan bumper depan aku dh dilanggar...aku mcm,apahal laki ni kn...kata lelaki, hero sgt bwk keter,penuh berhati2,pompuan jek yg buat salah,see...who need to be blamed now?muka dia mcm cuak sket,aku belagak tenang jek la....tgk keter xde pape pn,tp mestila efek gak kn dalaman..bergegar!aku pn naik tangan la...sambil mulut aku berkata"takpela....nape bang?(dgn nada sinis)".terus aku park keter n smbg sopping...walau dlm hati aku sedkit sakit kerana org dh mencederakan kereta chomel kesayangan aku!

Malam yg best utk mummy,daddy n firas

Smalam kul 930 mlm,kitorg naik lrt!hehe!bunyi mcm jakun.bkn x penah naik lrt,tp because this is firas's first time naik train bl dh besar.dulu dh penah bwk dia naik,tp masa tu dia baru 6bln.teringin sgt nk bwk firas sbb dia slalu tgk lrt akan jerit2, 'chugginton,chugginton',then blmdh lepas siap babai.smalam menjadi salah satu malam yg best because we as a parent dpt tgk our son's excitement bl dia experience sendiri naik 'chugginton'.n malam yg best utk firas,sbb he enjoyed that very short trip.naik train from kj to taman jaya jek pn.smp taman jaya we singgah anw,mkn wafel eskrem n air rootbeer float for mummy n daddy,milo ice utk firas.lagi skali firas enjoy the night sbb main menan kt anw tu.at 11pm,we all pn berangkat.lagi skali my dear son berlari2 dlm 'chugginton'.bagus gak balancing budak kecik ni,sbb relax jek berlari2 walau train bergerak.mgkn pusat graviti dia rendah,sbb dia ketot lagi.hehe for the first time rasa nk post gambor la plak.see ya soon.

Our 4th Wedding Anniversary

Alhamdulillah,our marriage has reach the age of 4years old.I was blessed by that.After all of sweet and sour of being together,we still made it.We are still together.A total of 14 yrs in love,being in love since 1996-2007,when finally we tied up the knot on 070707.Even we always fight,sakit hati,kutuk him but still deep down in my heart,I know that I am not capable in loosing him.Thank God for that,for not stopping my love towards him,and my hubby's luv towards me.We didnt manage to celebrate it appropriately on that date.It just that a weekend before our anni,we had a trip to PD to Bayu Beach Resort.But its not only 3 of us,it was about 9 all together.my mum,2 brothers,my PIL And SIL also joining us,had great time together eventhough it was a very short trip,2D1N.The best part,of the makan besar that we had at Medan Ikan Bakar,we ate smp dh xbleh nk masuk.hehe!

What happened on the actual date is another bless for me.I was very tired on the 6 of July.When reached home fr office that day,i just sit on couch watchin tv with Firas,then when my husband reached the door,I immediately told him that Im tired and goin to sleep now.So,i went to our bed,to actually take a nap.My husband kindly tried to wake me up for dinner(he ordered McD,I know...what kind of wife I am),but i declined to wake up.So,it wasnt a nap,its a sleep.Tdo mati I can say.Until 230am I woke up,seeing my hubby and skn slept beside me,Iwas like,my God...wat kind of wife and mother I ni!Blaming myself for my selfish attitude.And suddenly in the dark my eye catched sumthing on my make-up table,a paper bag,walked towards it and looked inside it and wondering,is this mine.I picked up the thing inside it,and looked at it with a mix feeling,happy,guilty with wat i did that night,and tak sangka.I was like,"Tissot?!".I know,its not that expensive as Tag,Chopard or soever those mewah watch brands,he knew that I need a watch so he tried to fullfill it,i know its quit expensive and i was not hoping for it,beli Guess pn ok jek,yang.This is the brand that I was dreaming all this while(my dream ikut our kemampuan la kn),so I got it.Yeay,thank you Ayang.OK,need to stop.there will be part 2 later.byyyeeeee!

Treatment for Mummy

Hi n Assalam,

Since mummy is here,so Im giving mummy a treatment.2 days ago,Ive called Kak Yan my massaeur to come tis morning.So here she is,massaging my Mummy.Next is my turn.I love Kak Yan so much,perhaps because the way she massage me doesnt hurt so much.Actually plan today is taking my little prince to dentist...but seems mcm x sempat jek.postponed to next week la nampaknye.So today I think I will take him to kiszport.Pity him,dh lama x bwk dia g jenjalan.Ok gals,until fingers meet keyboard again...see ya soon.

Anak oh Anak....

Tensennye!Firas is 2 yrs and 3 months but he is still having his fever monthly.I thought when he reached 2,this fever wont be frequent as before,but he still got it monthly!why this thing must happen to my dear son?i dunno wat else can i do to prevent tis fever,he's taking scott emulsion but not always,but then other people baby's also not taking those supplement,but how come their immune system is very good?its not that i want to merungut on this,im willing to take care of him,willing to have not enough sleep at night just to monitor his temperature,willing to carry him all night just because he cant sleep.but what im not willing to do is,to see him like that,helpless!oh God,i hate to see that....pls God,help my little.please take away all ths pain from my little baby...

Single Mother

How it feels actually being a single mother?my hubby is not here,travel again to spore after two weeks at home.before that he was in Manila for a month. During that month, my mummy spent her time with us.leave her huband and her home just to be with me n firas.n looks like for this time,im gonna a be alone with firas.how it feels,since ive been through it for this few occasion,i can live with it,i can survive.obviously,men is not a need.no further comment i think,worry that my words becoming worst and worst.adios....

Dh makin dekat

Ayg is leaving me.this coming monday.how dare u do that to me.all tis while,i always thinking on how the wife survive without the husband beside her.then,one bad day,its happening to me.dont u love me?i know its for the sake of your career..then what about the sake of your family...whatever it is,i hope that you gonna be safe where ever u are.semoga Allah sentiasa melindungi Ayang...amin ya rabbal a'lamin.

Can afford or not

Actually we've been planning to buy a propety quite sumtime oredy.but it never turn to a reality bcos of...i dun know whats the exact reason that delaying the process.n this few days,we starting thinking of it again seriously.we know we need to start taking a step,n today we've made a calculation on whether we can afford it or not.to service the monthly payment is ok, but to fork out of 60k which are the 10% deposit and legal fees,is a burden for us.means that we need to sacrifice all of our saving plus our Epf.is it gonna be worth it to sacrifice all that we got to invest on our own resident,a place for us to stay day n night.i think we need an opinion from the expert,at least from experienced people.i know its not gonna be a waste to invest in property,bcos the location of the house is quite good.common...we need to evaluate.this few days,we gonna crack our head,to make the biggest decision in our life.adios....

Bad employer!!!

Really hate my employer.bonus was announced on 9 march,and its really babi...mind my word pls...really...stupid employer!can u just imagine,our performance for 2009 was bad, was like one of the bad in history...but yet still we received an average bonus,i can say.but then last year,we earned the best profit ever in history,but we gonna get the same bonus as last year.doesnt it make sense?stupid bank!

A date to remember

10 Mac 2010..mu luvly hubby bought me a new gadget...iphone4.hehe!luv it!but i know,he did it in purpose.he was trying to make happy actually.he doesnt want me to be sad of his leaving.he's leaving to Manila.for a month ok.dunno how im gonna survive,but i know i will survive...with firas beside me.my alternative strenght when my husband is not around.but then,hopefully everything gonna be alrite.luv u daddy...luv you so much.its not bcos of u bought me an iphone,but i luv u bcos i still luv u even when i hate u so much!pray for the best for our family!

Ada ker???

HIsh.....we all just reached our home sweet home.the journey from KT to KL took 11 hours.Ada ker???Eeee....bebetul pressure.Nasib baik la my prince charming behave.mengamuk pn,amatla skejap....byk tdo..mesti dia penat.okla...nk tdo,now is 3am.NIte all.

Pity Blog....Bersawang

wuarghahaha....it has been a loooooong time ha?Hehe,dunno y lla im so lazy in updating my blog.So many things had happened.My appraisal thingy,not only mine,but the staffs as well.We've been to Bandung as planned which wasn't run smoothly.And know bersenang lenang during my core leave of 2 weeks.Really lurve it bebeh!

Since there r too many things to update,I chosed to write about how i've spent my core leave.Actually the core leave started on 26 January 2011,n thats the day that our jouney to Bandung,Indonesia begin(will update bout tat later)

Went to Bandung for 4 days,starting from 26 jan-29 jan.On the 30th,we rest for a day at home, n also visiting my Ayah Long at IJN, whose going to have his bypass operation.Actually I didnt managed to see him,cos i need to stay downstairs to look after my prince.

N the next day,we started our journey to Kota Bharu......Yeay!so happy sbb bleh blk kg.and the most important thing is, i can eat all the dreamt food that ive been craving all tis while...errr...im not pregnant....craving becos im fat i think.been in KB for 4 days,31 jan- 3 feb.and guess what, i managed to eat all my dream food.i ate nasi kerabu golok,etok,nasi ayam bakar.actually i wan to eat nasi daging bakar,tp unfortunately,dah habis.nasi ayam bakar pn boleh la.then makan rojak dekat bomba.omg...im loving it.isn't it heaven to live like that?long leave,eat nice food,and the best thing is you dun have to think about anything, bout work, problems,what to cook,kemas rumah,laundry,lipat baju....!wat you need to do is lying down watching tv...heaven.....heaven!

then on thursday nite,we all bertolak fr KB to KT,to be more specific,ajil.We stayed there until Sunday..oohh...its today.dunno when to start a
move back to KL.Depends on my luvly husband's mood.